October
2nd
I heard that there were 3900 killed yesterday. The action the Ishels took today was to try to enter the Veits Union’s Capital. The general assigned to protect its capital was someone who fought in the far east and successfully defeated the enemy. Oh, additionally, here, around 250 people were kidnapped.
12th
Around 10000 were killed. Mother commanded me not to write anything in this book anymore, because she wants us to live. …What? Even if I don’t write this book, I still will get killed. You think you could live by not talking at all? Nonsense! It is impossible, as the Ishels don’t ever care about what you think or say. They just drag you over and shoot you because you are a good target. I decided I will still write in secret.
16th
Tired of this. Numbers, numbers, numbers. 3000 killed. Am I in the military? Why do we start having training and all those weird rituals? Thinking of us little kids running tired and almost dead could make you feel good? Narcissist! What about YOUR children? I really want to kill those Ishels. I would rather myself being killed and treated awfully than the whole community murdered.
20th
One Ishel general was shot, and then to “mourn” his death, 50 were killed. Murder, shot, killed, kidnapped. So many un-unusual terms. It is as if these things were too far away from me to notice, but mystically, these situations are actually happening right in front of me. The teacher in our school, I heard, was kidnapped because she was accused of doing something rebellious.
22nd
Yes, I shall be strong. Brother, oh, my dear brother! He was killed with Father! The next one will be Mother and me. Why, I am very afraid. Very afraid. I will be dead by tomorrow, I think. I am just hiding inside this small dwelling. What’s worse, Mother left me. I am not sure whether Mother is alive or not, but I bet eighty percent she is caught.
23rd
They were chasing me. They were chasing me. I hid behind the wall all day. I crept out of my dwelling (I don’t know who owned it). Immediately, I saw people getting shot: in front of their houses, shops, markets… Soldiers were trying to “escort” all of us. People were dragged, no matter whether they were children, women, or the elderly. They thought the women(who tried to protect their child) were blocking their way to the completion of the mission, so they just shot them. Many of us, like me, who were still hiding, cannot hold out any longer. The Ishels are waiting. They wait for tomorrow, more people will come out and run into their trap again. I will dig down and bury this book before I leave the country. I cannot let them have any evidence of where I will go. My plan is to run west, north, and go to northern Europe. At least I can hide longer.
24th
I suddenly have a question. Why do they know I am missing? At least I left the territory. I am still in a very dangerous place, but people didn’t recognize me as a Lue. I tried to get some food with the money I had found luckily on the street. Now I realize that they have the ability to track me down with their magic. On the road I came here (which I don’t really know where exactly I am located in), I saw soldiers taking Lues and shooting them. I just acted calm, as I am a normal child walking around the street (though we ought to be completely isolated from other races). How in the world did people just let me go and walk? And so, to leave the area, I used some methods to jump out of the fence without being noticed. Well, they did notice me, but I don’t know how I have this idea, I hid behind the tree trunks. If they observed more carefully, I must have been shot already.
26th
It’s around, I estimate, 10 degrees right now. I think I have reached as far as possible I can. Ishel officers are walking around. I don’t have a very significant trait of a Lue; in fact, my blood of Lue is relatively light. Now it is nighttime, and I can’t wait to see when I will be dead. I buried this book here, I mean, after I finish writing this paragraph. This is just for the purpose of a primary source. Whether you respect this book or not, please do not destroy it. Please do keep it. I am the only one left in my family and bloodline, and later on, I will be trying my best on taking risk and responsibility for living through this war. I promise. This is the last recognized and recorded words of me.
